NFL for beginners and the disinterested

It’s the first weekend if the NFL season and the fiancé has just tagged me in a status on FB about it. Oh dear lord!

For anyone who doesn’t know anything about the NFL (like me), here’s a rough guide.

1. There is a lot of Lycra! An awful lot of Lycra on men who should not wear Lycra.
2. The American commentators love a stat. And I mean LOVE.
3. They have a lot of commercial breaks unless you watch the redzone which is just all the good bits from all the games that are playing.
4. The rules are weird.
5. The graphics on screen are just that. I’m not sure now why I thought they were on the field when I started watching 2 years ago but I really did. Doh
6. The Americans are really expressive about eeeeeeverything!
7. Some of the players are really quite hot.
8. But not as hot as the cheerleaders!
9. The players smack each other’s arses constantly, but that’s ok as long as it’s during play.
10. If you call it gay rugby, fans get upset (do it. It’s funny)
11. They have some funny sayings like ‘going in deep’ and ‘unnecessary roughness’
12. Everyone gets a headset. Be offended if you haven’t got one.
13. 1 game lasts forever. 3 or more hours for a game that technically lasts only 60 minutes.
14. Defence is called deeeeeefence!
15. Super Bowl (like the FA cup on steroids) starts at 3pm and finishes at approx 4am (uk time)

I recommend viewing with someone who knows what’s going on. That’s not me by the way 🙂

Transfer Deadline Day – the most predictable day of the year (for Arsenal anyway)

Transfer

My fiancé and I were having a lovely cuddle this morning just before we both fully woke up. Then just before 7am he kissed me on the shoulder and whispered ‘happy transfer deadline day babe’. Like it was our anniversary, my birthday or special occasion!

 

I think this sets the tone for the day. At 7am sky sports news went straight on like it does every morning but with the presenters banging on about TDD and all the many ways to watch, comment and communicate about ‘the most exciting day of the season’. Which incidentally is how the winter TDD and the last day of the season is described.

 

I was getting ready for work in the spare room and the fiancé shouted out ‘is this not exciting you?’ Errr no. Why would it? 99% of the waffle does not even relate to Arsenal (although everyone agrees they need a striker) and nothing ever happens in the Arsenal camp on TDD. Ever!

 

What Arsene should do is issue a statement a few days before saying;

(read in a dodgy French accent)

‘errrrrrrrrrrrrrr we will not be errrrrrr buying anyone else this season. Please errrrrrrrr stop errr speculating about who will be errrrr buying because errrrrrrrr we have finished our errrrrrrr business’

 

Then the poor sky reporter standing outside in the cold and the rain at the Arsenal camp can go home or most likely to hang around outside another training camp. And my TV can be on something other than SSN all day long.

 

Never have I been so happy to be at work today. But then I have to go home tonight. The speculation, rumours, twitter polls and general nonsense will still be going until 11pm tonight. Everyone at SSN changes into yellow and talks excitedly about nothing for the longest time.  

 

And all this twice a year! I’m not sure who I feel most sorry for; them or me?